Why, hello again!
It just felt like one of those days when I need to get things off my chest into this blog of mine, and share some of my woes with you readers.
As the title suggests, I just want to say out some of the things that was bugging me all week plus all other issues.
If you do read my blog, you’d know I’ve had already talked about my education and how I’m overwrought thinking about how vague my future seems right now, like a crooked, narrow path full of thorns I have to overcome before entering that ray of sunlight ahead before me - hope. Yesterday, I asked a few of my older brothers from church who are all in prestigious universities studying, about how they lived their life till now, how they managed to get into their chosen schools and so on.
Their very first reactions were as what you might have guessed.
“Of course it’s because we studied hard and eventually got here!”
After seeing me bowing my head in disappointment although I knew what they replied wasn’t exactly wrong, they explained further in detail how I could prepare well for the future.
1) Find something you love, that you’ll want to do for life.
This is the most fundamental foundation to how many famous people managed to reach the top! You have to try out many things when you’re young, and pursue those that sparked interest in you! Who knows, that might be the cause of your success in life later on. Opportunities knocks once, and maybe twice for lucky ones, and every time you attempt something new, opens door to new possibilities that you can choose and pursue in the future! And even if that might not be your main importance in your life right now, it’d be useful tools that you might require later on in life!
You never know who’s coming into your life or what’s gonna happen, but you’ve got to be prepared for it. Prepare for the worst, and that wouldn’t even happen, because you have done something about your future. Who knows, you might meet someone important and you could actually befriend that person, gain lots of relevant contacts that could be a great beneficial to you.
One of them told me how he learnt to draw and design characters from an old Filipino. He used to study back in the Philippines and a professor/tutor who knew about his interest in learning how to design and draw characters, somehow happened to have a friend who worked at the renowned Pixar or Dreamwork (can’t remember which one) retired and residing at a reclusive place. So after getting the information, he went all the long way to sought that mysterious Filipino man. If I’m not wrong, he was involved in the makings of Iron Man as well, or some quite prominent film. The man seemed reluctant to teach initially, but just gave in easily to the endless pleas. They decided on the fee and everything else, and that’s where his journey started and still continuing now. He studies in Raffles Design Institute, isn’t that great? He knows how to play saxophone, and has other great achievements, which are the results after years of blood and tears of hard work.
After reading this, what do you think?
I don’t think it’s a coincidence he met that person. I do believe that God might have opened that road for him, but he did reap what he sowed, as stated in the bible. If he didn’t bother to work hard, or ask around the professors for information, he might not have gotten to know that old man. The professors wouldn’t even have known that he had such interest. So remember, God does plan your future, but you have to work hard for it as well. There are no short cuts to success.
For younger ones out there, you have plenty of chances and time spread ahead of you, so don’t waste it! Having fun isn’t bad, but remember, every time you waste those minutes doing something else, people out there are working their ass off studying and getting ready for the future. Develop your own interests!
Which brings me to my next point..
2) Find your dream.
A youth who does not have a dream, is doomed to fail. Someone who has a dream, will find great meaning in their life as they overcome obstacles and find determination in accomplishing that dream they have in their hearts. After you have found something you’re interested, pursue it and it’ll lead you to build a big dream based on it. Be realistic. You can always achieve higher once you have reached that goal.
Do I need to say anything more from here?
3) Plan. Plan. Plan.
Needless to mention, this is obviously another crucial step to success. To achieve great things, you must have a goal in order to know what you are working for!! You might want to do something for life, like writing in my case, and my dream is to be a freelance writer, but what’s the necessary plans and preparations I have to make right now, to steadily inch nearer to that dream?
It takes a lot of thinking and considerations just to plan it all out. Planning requires investment of time and patience to research, and then getting the options, the choices of where you wanna head to. Like for example, if I want to be a writer, I’d have to study and experience further, right? Find the schools that offer such related courses, like English major, or literacy. Not only do I just sit down and study all day, I can also take part in workshops, outside courses on writing or a part-time writer at a media company? There’s a lot of alternatives as you can see, but you can’t do everything at once, nor can you guarantee you can actually acquire that part-time job in that company.
If I don’t get into a university… I’m gonna keep on studying TOEFL, SAT, HSK getting ready for qualification tests that will help me get into an university. I shan’t give up on my first try, but I hope I will. There are so much things on the line and family is one of them. I don’t want to create any more discord between my parents and me. Besides, I kinda vaguely promised my mom I’ll get into an university after getting my diploma. So every time when they always bring out the topic of university, my shoulders suddenly weigh a ton. And I always trudge back to my room, thinking “I should study…” and be depressed thinking about the bleak, dark and lonely future ahead.
Allow me to digress a bit here. These days my parents, especially my dad, has been giving me a hard time so much that I’d just shut myself in my room all day, not come out, and be happy with it. Internet and blogging would be the closest thing that I’m doing something useful outside of this mad confinement. Seriously I don’t think it’s right to vent his anger so unnecessarily on me you know, unless I did something wrong!! He’d just say something really nasty and insult me, and I’d be speechless, feeling totally wronged when I did absolutely nothing. Like really, just stayed silent and did nothing, but it’s like someone just comes up to you and start insulting you, probably scold you for sitting down as a excuse to vent their stress.
Feel really angry these days, and I wonder if it’s the late teenage hormones, because last time I’d just keep quiet and forget about it the next day. But it’s adding up to my pile of STRESS! I’m human too okay, and I’m not the same little goody-two-shoes child anymore. I know I make silly mistakes as a klutz but I don’t mean them!!! And I’m not actually doing something bad right?!?!?
This is just so unfair. They don’t buy me books to read and my brain has just stopped developing ideas for my current novel I’m working on. It’s so stupid. UGH UGH UGH.
My seniors did tell me, “Your parents don’t owe you anything. It’s your life and YOU should be the one working for it. Of course, they are providing you money for your education right now, and you should be thankful.”
I know I know and I do understand. BUT IT’S HARD WHEN YOUR MOM RESTRICTS YOU FROM SO MANY THINGS.
I seriously don’t understand why they are such hypocrites who go back on their word. I don’t give two hoots about how nasty they are but this involves my future. Always nagging about everything I do. It’s so freaking irritating and stressful!!!! I just feel like I have step parents right at the moment.
I’m glad I still have my dearest Macbook, phone and music.
Getting back to the main topic, sometimes dI’m so distraught when my parents keeps on reminding me that they’ll not provide for me nor let me stay in the house, if I don’t get into an university. But they aren’t encouraging enough of my dream right now. They doubt I can even do something about my life right now. But obviously I’ve had no idea that it’d be this hard!!! I was tricked into thinking polytechnic has become better nowadays, let you pursue what you want to do, and blah blah blah whatever nonsense they told me. That’s why I hate people promoting the school because you can make friends, it’s awesome and so on, because some poor, gullible people (like me) fall for it and we can’t turn back at all.
Well my friend did. He went to JC after the first year, but dang it, I was already tied to the contract by then. To break it off, it’d require a large, unimaginable sum of money, just to free myself from that stupid thing.
But what the hell, it’s a mistake I made, and some thing I have to live on with. I do have the power to change my future.
For me, I’d still need to stay in Singapore, working for the government three more years as stated in the tuition grant contract. So the best thing for me would be to get into an university in Singapore, which seem to be a dull chance for me due to my poor results right at the moment. But I really hope it isn’t too late. I’m reflecting a lot, right now, mentally preparing for the dreadful and nasty semesters to come about, for me to tackle and raise my grade. Enough, for me to get a seat into a decent university. I’m praying so hard that it’ll happen, God will grant me strength and wisdom to ace my studies for now. All I need to do is work hard, work smart.
So now you know… planning is one thing, working on it is another problem.
3) WORK ON IT.
One of the brothers had told me about how he had to go through sleepless nights just to earn his school fees because his family was poor and he managed to get into an university, still studying and so on. And we are mostly behind the computer wasting our lives away. It just shows how cruel and harsh reality is out there and we’re just so oblivious to it. Why? We are provided with everything needed and wanted!! Sometimes we forget to be thankful and work hard for what we must do.
Everything is futile when no effort has been put into it. Can there be a harvest when the farmers are all lazy? NO! The wheat shall all rot and be damaged. It’d be too late.
Don’t let this happen to your future!! You only need to work hard, and I mean, really really work your blood and tears out, for just 1/5 of your life. How much you put in effort now, will determine how your life would be 10 years down the road.
Have you ever gone through this exercise in class before? Your teacher will ask you what do you see yourself doing 10, 20, and 50 years down the road, and you just scribble anything down thinking it’s just a waste of time. In fact, now that I realize, it is important.
For me, this is what I wrote down:
5 years down the road, I will, or want to see, myself studying overseas and working on a novel. I will be probably taking up a job at a media company to earn my own income.
10 years down the road, I see myself successfully publishing a novel and still trying to save up more money to travel abroad. I’ll probably be back in Singapore. I am still pursuing my love for music, as I continue to practice playing on the piano. And hopefully, be in a relationship? I really aren’t sure about that. I’d also be pursuing my passion for photography, still learning how to master photoshop haha!
20 years down the road, if I did have a relationship previously, I’d probably be married and adopting kids. Unless I’d be really brave enough to enter the operation room, then I might be having a kid or two. I want to have one or two kids if I am determined. I’d still be writing. I would want to be living overseas in America. For my career, I’d really love to be involved in the makings of a movie film, writing scripts. I’d love to teach kids piano as well, if I do ace it by then.
I think at this period, I’d be struggling very hard to achieve the goals, but working utmost hard that is.
50 years down the road, I’d want to be famous for my book works. I’d want to write an auto-biography of how much I persevered to reach the top. Probably reminiscing about this blog as well!! Haha, and I’ll probably be doing missionaries going to poor countries to share the Word of God and helping underprivileged kids get necessary education so that they can fulfill their dream. I want to be used by God at all times. I’d also be focusing in my children’s education, if I do have one. I’d still want to travel all around the world and write about it before I die/second coming of Christ (if he comes when I’m still alive here lol). I’d still want to be learning, anything.
So this is basically what I really want to achieve.
Actually, it’s really ironical that I find this so overwhelming although I was the one who wrote all these down. If this all happens, I’ll looking back onto this blog, thinking I did the right decisions, and I indeed succeeded in my life.
But remember, these are still plans.
You want all these to come true? You’ve to fight for it. Chase your dreams, and work for it.
But of course, life does NOT stop when you do achieve that dream. You keep on setting higher goals from there on, and learn to live life to the fullest. Share your knowledge and your wealth. Teach and inspire the younger ones, sow the seeds in them, and God will do something in their life to make it grow.
You can use your God-given talents, whatever you have achieved to reach the top, to bring glory to God’s kingdom. Even if you did, be humbled always. Your success is not only because you had worked hard, but God granted upon you wisdom and strength to go through whatever tests and hardship you’ve gone through, and placed important people in your life.
Even if there are short cuts, then there would be no great meaning in life. Cause anyone would be able to do it.
But when you really achieve so much after hardships, and look back unto your life, I really hope it’s something pleasant to reminisce about. I really hope that whatever you have achieved, you’ll be satisfied and be happy.
Even if you work as a cleaner, and you’re happy with your life, then I couldn’t be happier for you. Being truly happy is not about your status, what you can do or not, but who you are and what you choose to do.
And above everything else, put the Lord as your priority.
How’s your journey going to be like?
so that’s when I kinda stopped giving them stuffs. 
They costed me a bomb apparently, and I was only left with around 2 bucks for the rest of the week.. but I was glad I bought it for them anyway when I saw my parents’ surprised and jovial smiles, and it was definitely worth it 
I swear I’m gonna get diabetes from playing with them too much, because they are all so sweet and cute 
I just want to have kids like them and have a happy family in the future. I’ve been fearing about pregnancy all through these years but watching such darlings makes me think I might want to have one when I meet someone I truly love and marry him. After all, the experienced mothers knows it all and they don’t fear it much than what I expected. Hehe, just a food for thought.. 
Although with my bad luck, I can flip the coin and turn the situation at its worst sadly, which happens a lot of times before.
, and he said he did!! I was so happy although I missed most of his broadcast. And so, I tweeted him a message to wish him luck for his upcoming events!! 
(( I love Tei♡In forever!!” Fine-san: “Thank you and welcome! It would be good if we met someday! I’ll do good for my event!!”
I really wish I could meet him one day in Japan and hopefully… hehe. Just thinking to myself. 
as the hot zombie boyfriend and main character of the movie last Sunday. I was busy all week, but my friends sought some time out on Sunday to watch it and shop for a bit after that 
I’ll probably jump down a high building in euphoria. Pure bliss. Okay, that sounds really dangerous, but it’s just to describe how happy I’ll be 
Niconico dancers too much, and I’m already very tempted to write my own section of fanfic to satisfy my addiction for them, featuring me and my favorite dancers, that is. Anyway, I sincerely pray, hope that I’ll meet them in real life, when I get to go to Japan, although it’s a big country, and the probability of meeting him will be quite low. But still!! There’s still hope! 
This is just tragic. I just wish all of us would stay together and happily ever after but no, life doesn’t work smoothly but thankfully I’ll be with a best friend all the time throughout all my classes, so I’m kinda safe and satisfied with that. I’m just not a smooth-goer with crowds and strange faces. 
There went a good long trip home in the bus without good music while I bore myself looking out of the windows 
It is the perfect season to just stay home under the aircon or the fan eating a tub of ice cream/something cold…
She bought us dinner mainly because we worked hard for the worship dance performance we put out there on Easter Sunday! Oh well, it was my pleasure in praising God by dancing, the most expressive way we can worship Him !! And I love dancing, so it’s been a great experience! 
I know right, he doesn’t look like the type to actually know how to dance, but hard work succeeds the impossible and he really did put in huge effort in learning, practicing the dance just to teach us! Despite having school and being tired, he really taught us patiently and effectively!
The taste was just heavenly.. The carbonara had this thick texture to it, yet it just melts in your tongue and has a just-nice seasoning to it! Not too cheesy, watery, not salty nor bland, just right. The noodles are so chewy and bouncy as well! It was my first time trying the spicy risotto with meat and Seafood Marinara, but I’m glad I did, finally. 
Wish I could get a proper proper canon dslr soon, somehow.
basically the clown who always makes us laugh every day. He just looks and speaks funny!! 
Haha, anyway that’s how we have fun, bantering around just making fun of each other and stuff ! Always love spending time with my sisters and brothers in church although sometimes they drive me mad 
If you didn’t know, I used to pray since young for a older brother and sister in my family to play with me, and wrote a lot of stories featuring this and me as the main character in my notebooks. It’s quite funny to read them now, but it just reflected my childhood. A bit lonely, but my parents were kinda outgoing back then, brought me out to a lot places.
My brother performed pink panther and a hymn song! Really great job, proud of ya’, my little brother!! 
Glad we do share the love of playing the piano despite much differences! 
By the way, noticed that I have blue sapphires stuck to my teeth? Hehe, oh the lame puns I put up… 
